It’s come to my attention of late that there is one section of society that is criminally overlooked and dare I say it actively discriminated against. No other group of people are so easily suppressed. This group mainly resides within offices of varying natures and are continually sidelined in favour of others. These people can be seen in their natural habitat silently going about their work, slumping lower in their chairs and getting slower as the day grinds onwards eventually attempting to head butt objects in front of them as they nod in deference to their masters and environment. These people are indeed the Endotherms or Hot People and not hot in the American sense. The overly red faces and excess sweat may well see to that, although I’m sure there are some enthusiasts out there preferring their partners to be the equivalent of a human radiator. I won’t be Google-ing that one! No day can pass without the temperature of an office being raised to that of the surface of the sun such that the very air itself is enough to cook flesh on contact. Out of the haze will rise a small pathetic voice “it’s freezing in here” echoing round the stifling room as it would along a parched canyon in the deserts of California. Not one of these poor shivering unfortunates has the forethought to put on extra clothing lest they might be slightly cold during the day instead preferring the cold person’s uniform of a stringy top of some sort, if female, or little else other than flowing cotton that would struggle to keep an overactive oven warm on a baking hot day once the ozone layer has dissolved. A Hot Person without complaint will carry on about their tasks after years of conditioning towards deference to the poor cold person casually watching for paper to spontaneously combust. I can only assume this is the reason behind the “paperless office”, paper simply cannot exist in these temperatures and Health and Safety have removed it all as a fire risk.
It would seem that David Ike was correct, the lizard people do indeed live among us, only stirring when temperatures reach blistering, existing as if in some real-life version of V, ruling the Endotherms with an iron fist and little warm clothing.
It would seem that David Ike was correct, the lizard people do indeed live among us, only stirring when temperatures reach blistering, existing as if in some real-life version of V, ruling the Endotherms with an iron fist and little warm clothing.
Well no longer we must revolt and rise up to reclaim the temperature of normal humans. We must feel the air in our lungs as refreshing rather than scorching like the very winds of Jupiter itself were unleashed from a filing cabinet. We shall rise from our slowly melting chairs and struggle through the pain, parched lips cracking as the skin loses its last drops of moisture, to the sacred thermostat. We must battle the guardian standing over the small box like some Medusiod creature awaiting hot blooded mammals to feast on and devour in a blur of icy claws and sharp words. We shall stock pile extra thick jumpers and hand them out like food parcels in a famine, throwing them to eager blue hands as they grapple with warmth never previously known. We shall make appointments with GP’s for those terminal cases that would still moan about being cold if dumped on the surface of the sun. The phrase “it’s your circulation, I’d see a doctor” will be our mantra. Together we can resist this relentless pursuit of heat in favour of more temperate office environments and we may survive to continue pointless bureaucracy into the next century and beyond.
Rise my red faced, sweaty brethren and we shall be victorious.
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